John sees the actor Benedict Cumberbatch on television. He sees the posters for Frankenstein outside the National Theatre and it makes his heart stop. He rings Lestrade with his hands trembling, telling him to pull up an image of Benedict on his computer. He hears Lestrade sighing on the other end of the phone, Lestrade asks John how long this will continue. He suggests John makes another appointment with Ella.
John walks home in the rain with his head down.
On his way past HMV he sees the poster for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. He purchases the DVD with his heart hammering in his chest, runs home and scrambles over the detritus scattered around the living room of 221b he did not have the energy to clear away. As he watches the film he does not notice the tears that fall steadily down his face. It’s Sherlock. He knows that now. It’s him. It’s okay that they can’t be together, not yet, because it’s enough that Sherlock’s alive.